The Church and Domestic Abuse

Posted on September 12, 2014 by Andy Stoddard

I really love football. I really do. I’m more of a college guy than a pro guy. I joke that my three loves in life are my God, my family, and my Ole Miss Rebels, and sometimes Ole Miss climbs that list based off how they are doing,

I don’t have a pro team, I guess the Saints, but in truth I root for whoever has the most Ole Miss players on their team.

So, I’ve watched the whole Ray Rice saga more from the perspective of a passive football fan. I’ve not been impressed with the leadership of the NFL as it seems like it’s more about damage control than anything else.

And I have become discouraged about where we are on issues of domestic abuse. It’s easy to fixate on Ray Rice, but as mentioned above, I’m a fan of Ole Miss. And one of our former Rebels is in some very hot water over this very issue, as well.

My perspective on this issue comes, though, not from being a football fan, but from someone who has seen the effects of domestic abuse first-hand, and from being a pastor. This past Annual Conference, Bishop Swanson asked me and Ginger Stevens from the Wesley House in Meridian to help him lead a workshop on domestic violence and think about the ways that we as churches and pastors can respond.

I think that we, as the church, and as Christians, and really as humans, miss the point. For instance, I mentioned Ray Rice and Greg Hardy. What Hardy did to his girlfriend is appalling. Why is there not the same outrage? Simple. There is no film of it. When we see what happened, we instinctively pull back. The written word is not as offensive. A picture (or video) really is worth a thousand words.

There are so many others who have written more eloquently, and put into words what I’m thinking. But here, for me, is the bottom line.

Abuse is always wrong. Physical, emotional, verbal. Any abuse is wrong.

This has shaped me, and is one thing that I have no patience for as a man, a husband, a father (to a daughter – and a son), and as a pastor.

We as Christians, and as the church, have to speak out on these types of issues. We have to help the women (and, yes, sometimes men) and children that are in these cases find the help and safety they need.

But here’s the reality on these types of cases. They are messy. They are confusing. It’s often a “he said/she said” type of situation. There are conflicting stories. There are in cases like the in the Ray Rice situation where the victim reconciles and doesn’t want to press charges.

So it’s easier for us as the church and as Christians for us to look away and walk away.

But we can’t. We can’t look away. We can’t walk away. We can’t. Even when it’s messy or hard. We can’t look away. We can’t walk away. Because we serve a God that saw us in the midst of mess and didn’t look away or walk away. But instead, through Jesus Christ, entered into our mess to save us. How?

By being abused. Beaten. Mocked. Spit upon.

Jesus keenly understands that type of abuse. Because He (for the sake of our redemption) received the same type of abuse.

What do we do? I’m not 100% sure. But I know we can’t look away. And I know we can’t walk away.

Here at Asbury, we have a list on file of resources for individuals caught in this situation. We have friends that work in this area and we know where to refer people, if they are ready to receive help.

We will do all that we can to help get them there. We can’t make or force the decision. But we can help, when the decision has been made.

There is more, much more we can do. But I know this. I will not, and our church will not, look away or walk away.

As believers, that’s simply not an option.

Nothing He Can’t Do

Posted on September 9, 2014 by Andy Stoddard

In the readings for this week, we see a picture of who Jesus is. He is epic. He is divine and powerful and strong and eternal.

Why? Why do the readings this week focus so much on how big Jesus is, on His divine Majesty, on His power, on His might? Why are we reminded of these things?

Because we need to remember that this is His world. He is King. He is Lord. He is in control. He is in charge.

We are not. Seriously. We are not in control. He is. Listen to what happens today in Matthew 9: 2-8:

And behold, some people brought to him a paralytic, lying on a bed. And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Take heart, my son; your sins are forgiven.” And behold, some of the scribes said to themselves, “This man is blaspheming.” But Jesus, knowing their thoughts, said, “Why do you think evil in your hearts? For which is easier, to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Rise and walk’? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—he then said to the paralytic—“Rise, pick up your bed and go home.” And he rose and went home. When the crowds saw it, they were afraid, and they glorified God, who had given such authority to men.

Jesus says, not just be healed, but be forgiven. Because as great as the healing was, the forgiveness is even more amazing. That’s the kind of God that Jesus is. He has the power to heal. He has the power to forgive.

There is literally nothing that He can’t do. He can do everything. There is not a portion, a part, an inch of your life that Jesus can’t restore, can’t rebuild, can’t bring new life to.

Nothing. There is nothing that He can’t do.

Nothing.

Today remember His power. Remember that He has the power to heal. He has the power to forgive. He has the power to do everything. Don’t forsake that power. Don’t forget that power.

Live as a child of risen and resurrected King. There’s nothing He can’t do.

Nothing.

Do you believe that? Do you live like that? We should. We have to. Because that’s who He is.

Today, let’s live like we believe that Jesus is who He says that He is. Let’s live in the power that He grants to us. Let’s live.

Don’t forget, you can click here to download Asbury’s mobile app and read these devotionals, as well as listen to my sermons on your smart phones, and you thought our app, you can now watch our worship services from Asbury too!

Who is This?

Posted on September 8, 2014 by Andy Stoddard

We like for faith to make sense. We like for things to be neat and crisp and wrap up neatly into a little bow.

We like for faith to fit into our schedule, into our plans and to have its role within our lives. A role that we like, that we can monitor, that we can keep under control. A role that benefits us, but doesn’t really change too many things about us or our lives.

That is what we often wish that faith could be and would be.

But, in reality, that’s the one thing that true faith never is. It is never predictable. It is never safe. It never fits neatly into a box. Listen to what happens today in Luke 8: 22-25

One day he got into a boat with his disciples, and he said to them, “Let us go across to the other side of the lake.” So they set out, and as they sailed he fell asleep. And a windstorm came down on the lake, and they were filling with water and were in danger. And they went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we are perishing!” And he awoke and rebuked the wind and the raging waves, and they ceased, and there was a calm. He said to them, “Where is your faith?” And they were afraid, and they marveled, saying to one another, “Who then is this, that he commands even winds and water, and they obey him?”

Who is this Jesus that the wind and the water obey Him. That’s not something that is safe. Jesus is never predictable. He is never just safe. He is never just ordinary.

He is the Son of God. He is savior of the world. He is the Lamb that was slain before the foundations of the world. He is God Himself. He is part of the Trinity. He made all things, and all things were made through Him and for Him.

He is the Christ. He is the Messiah. He is the Master and Lord of all. And He is our Lord and our Savior.

He is not ordinary.

He doesn’t want to be ordinary in your life. He wants to change it. He wants to change you. He wants you, today, to know real, awesome, amazing life.

He does.

Have you considered who He is today? His power. His majesty. His mercy. His grace. His love. His life.

And wants you to share in that power today. Really. You. Power. Today. That’s what He wants. Really.

Today, your faith doesn’t have to be plain or vanilla. It can be more alive than you’d ever think possible. It can be.

Who is this Jesus? Today, may He be Lord of all. And may His life give us the life we seek.

Jesus’ Prayer for Us

Posted on September 3, 2014 by Andy Stoddard

One of the most important passages in all the Bible, to me at least, is John 17. In that chapter, we see Jesus praying. But’s not just any prayer, it’s a prayer that He’s praying for His followers that are yet to come.

So, reading this prayer would really give us great insight into what Jesus was thinking at this hour before His crucifixion. It’s a beautiful prayer, but I want to, this morning, specifically focus on what He says in John 17: 20-22

I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. The glory that you have given me I have given to them that they may be one even as we are one

Of all the things that Jesus could focus on at that time, that’s what He says. I pray that the believers that would follow me that they would be one.

Isn’t that what the faith should be about? No matter what church, or denomination, or tradition, or worship style, or theology we are a part of, shouldn’t we be one?

Aren’t we saved in the name of the same Jesus? Don’t we worship the same Triune God? Don’t we have the same purpose, the same calling, the same hope?

Aren’t we brothers and sisters, not competitors?

Shouldn’t we rejoice in each other’s victories and weep in other’s defeats?

Shouldn’t we love each other?

Because we are family. We are. If we are in Jesus, we are family.

We are one. That was His prayer for us. Jesus. Prayed for that.

I said this yesterday on Facebook – “interesting talks today. I hope that the life of the church can grow from being competition between churches; who has the best preacher, or music, or coolest youth pastor, and can grow into true community. Community within the local church and community among the churches. I don’t know what that looks like. But I know that’s what I want Asbury Church to be about.”

That’s what I want us to be about here in Petal. And everywhere. And I hope that I can do my best to make sure we are one.

That’s our Lord’s prayer for us. May we seek to be faithful to that.

Temptation is a Lie

Posted on August 27, 2014 by Andy Stoddard

Let me tell you a little secret, that is you can just remember from this point forward, it will make your life a lot happier, and actually somewhat easier.

What is this secret? What can change things so radically?

It’s this. Temptation is a lie. It is temptation, in all of its forms, is simply a lie. Think about temptation. What does it offer? What does it promise?

Fun. Or power. Or wealth. Or status. Or popularity. Or a million different things. Temptation always promises us something that we would want to have.

Every temptation does that.

And what does temptation always give us? Guilt. Shame. Self-loathing. Hatred. Destruction.

Death. In the end. It gives us death.

So, temptation promises us something good and gives us something bad. It’s a lie.

Remember that. Seriously. Drill it down into your skull right now. Temptation is a lie.

Listen to what Jesus said in John 8: 44-45:

You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies. But because I tell the truth, you do not believe me.

Jesus tells the Pharisees that they are doing the work of their father, the devil. They are lying because the devil is a liar. He is the father of lies.

That’s all he’s ever done is lie. Everything he says, everything he does, he’s a liar.

Temptation is a lie. The devil is a liar. When temptation comes, don’t listen to the promises of fun and life, remember what it is.

A lie. Temptation is a lie.

Always. Never forget that.

And when we see it for what it is, we can resist it (through God’s power) a little bit easier!

The Hard Right

Posted on August 26, 2014 by Andy Stoddard

One of the things that I’ve been blessed by as the pastor of Asbury has been the number of military men and women that I’ve been blessed enough to serve as their pastor.

And one of the common refrains I’ve heard from comes from making choices about what to do in leadership. What decision should they make. What road should they choose? What path should they walk down? I’ve heard them over and over again say these words – always choose the hard right over the easy wrong.

What does that mean? Always do what’s right even if it’s the harder option. Sometimes (most times) what is easiest isn’t always right.

What does that have to do with scripture? Listen to what Jesus tells the disciples today in John 6: 66-69:

After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him. So Jesus said to the Twelve, “Do you want to go away as well?” Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.”

The disciples had heard Jesus teach some really hard truths. They had heard Him say some things that were really, really hard for them to believe. They didn’t know if they could be faithful.

Maybe they should turn back. Maybe they should go home. Maybe they should walk away.

That would be easier.

So, Jesus asks, would they leave too. And Peter says Lord, where can we go? You have life. You are life. You are truth. Where could we go?

Quitting would have been easy. But it would have been wrong.

Choosing to follow Jesus, even into the hard places, would be hard. But, it would be right.

They choose the hard right, over the easy wrong.

So must we today. We must choose to follow Jesus, no matter where He leads us. Because no matter how hard it may look, it will be right. It will be life. It will be hope. It will be purpose.

It will be right.

Today, follow Jesus wherever He leads, no matter how hard it looks. Because it is the path to life. And following him, no matter how hard i is, is always right.

There is More

Posted on August 25, 2014 by Andy Stoddard

Ever been so tired that you can’t sleep? I’m there a lot of the time. Ever been so hungry, but you weren’t even sure what it is that you are hungry for?

Ever looked at your life, and been thankful for what God has given you, but wondered, man is there more?

Ever gone to church, or read you bible, or done the things that you are supposed to do as a God Christian, but walked away feeling empty or tired or dry?

Ever known you are looking for something, but not quite sure what it is? Listen today to what Jesus says in John 6: 57-58:

As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so whoever feeds on me, he also will live because of me. This is the bread that came down from heaven, not like the bread the fathers ate, and died. Whoever feeds on this bread will live forever.”

Jesus says this. The Father sent me to you as true bread and true life. And if you feed of me if you let me feed you, then you will live.

Not just now, but forever.

We go and we do and we work and we stay busy. But in the stillness and in the quietness, we sometimes think and wonder, isn’t there more? Aren’t we made for more than this? Isn’t there more than what we are chasing?

Yes. Yes there is. There is life. There is fullness. There is rest. There is comfort. There is everything that we are seeking. Everything. Everything.

And we can’t find that in ourselves.

We find it in Jesus. Not in your task. Not in your goodness. Not in your job. In Jesus.

Today, there is more. Let Him feed you. Receive His mercy, His grace, His life. Let Him give you what you need.

Yes, there is more. In Jesus. Today, rest in that life. Today, live. Today, know that.

There is more.

There is Jesus.

Shine the Light

Posted on August 18, 2014 by Andy Stoddard

Well, it’s Monday. I don’t know when you read this. It could be early in the morning before you leave for work or school. You could be reading in the drop off line on your phone. Perhaps from your computer at work. Or maybe even tonight before bed.

I don’t know when you read it. But I know that whenever you do read it, you have some sort of task ahead of ahead of you. Something you have to do; something you have to face.

And sometimes we just need a little extra kick to get over the hump. Well, this morning I was reading in Philippians 2: 14-16. Listen to what it says:

Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.

Through your actions, through your words, through your faith, you are going to be a light. You are going to shine for all to see. In a world full of darkness, you are going to be a light to someone today.

You are. Really, you are. You are going to be a light today. You are going to shine for Jesus today. You are going to point someone to Jesus today.

Now, you may not be perfect; you may not do it perfect, but you have that chance. And you know what else?

God has confidence in you. He does. That’s He’s sending you out. That’s why He’s putting you where He’s putting you. That’s why you are where you are. Not just for “you” but for “Him.”

You can do it. Really, you can. You can do it. You can shine for Him. You can point to Him. You can be that light in the darkness today.

You can change someone’s world today.

Someone changed your life. Today, you have the shot, through Jesus, to change someone’s life yourself. Today, let Jesus shine through you.

Today We Have a Choice

Posted on July 31, 2014 by Andy Stoddard

Every day, life is full of choices. Every day. We make choices to do things or to not do them. Some choices aren’t that important, and some choices are very important; they may change the course of our lives from that point on.

We make choices every day of our lives. About work, play, money, faith, family, everything. There are choices that we make. Sometimes, we don’t realize how important a choice was until after we have even made it.

Jesus, preaching His first public sermon in Matthew, talks about choices. Listen to what He says in Matthew 4: 13-17:

And leaving Nazareth he went and lived in Capernaum by the sea, in the territory of Zebulun and Naphtali, so that what was spoken by the prophet Isaiah might be fulfilled: “The land of Zebulun and the land of Naphtali, the way of the sea, beyond the Jordan, Galilee of the Gentiles — the people dwelling in darkness have seen a great light, and for those dwelling in the region and shadow of death, on them a light has dawned.” From that time Jesus began to preach, saying, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.”

The choice He talks about is at the very end. This is the choice He lays out. Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.

The choice He is talking about is repentance. See, that’s what repentance is. It is a choice. It’s a choice to turn away from our stuff, our sin, our mistakes, and a choice to turn to Jesus.

And here’s the cool thing. Each day is a new day. Each day is a new start. As important as yesterday was, it is now done. It’s over. Don’t worry about it. Today is the day that the Lord has given you.

Yesterday’s mistakes don’t have a bearing on today’s choice. Today, we choose. Will we choose to turn away from the things that will only bring us pain; will we choose to turn to Jesus and find strength, mercy, hope, and life.

We have the choice to make today. We do. We can choose which path to walk down.

Today, Jesus says, repent. Choose to follow me in the big things; choose to follow me in the little things.

Today, may each of us choose to follow Jesus with all that we are.

Keep Holding On

Posted on July 28, 2014 by Andy Stoddard

Sometimes we get tired of walking the walk. Sometimes life is just hard. We know that we are called to be faithful. We know that we are supposed to chase after Jesus, we know that we are supposed to grow, to be faithful, to work for good, all of that.

But man oh man, sometimes it’s just hard to do that. Sometimes we fall, we stumble, we make mistakes.

And we want to quit. We want just to lay down. We want just to quit. To stop. To give in, to give up.

We’ve all been there. We may be there at this exact moment. If that’s where you are right now, or if you’ve ever been there, listen today to what Paul writes in Philippians 3: 12-14:

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus

Paul says we are going somewhere. We are chasing after Jesus, we are seeking to be made like Him, we are seeking to grow. And when we want to quit, you know what we do?

We keep walking.

Because of this. Christ Jesus has made us His own.

As tightly as you feel like you are holding on to Jesus, remember this. He is holding on you even more tightly.

Hold on to Him. Because He is going to hold onto you. He is. He has you. You are His. You are.

Keep walking. Keep fighting. Keep straining. Keep being faithful. Even when it’s hard. Keep holding on to Jesus.

Because Jesus is holding on to you. Never forget that.

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